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Monthly Archives: February 2000

Melanie speaks to Nick and Scott of the filthy and hilarious Pentagoria, Feb. 2000

MR: Can you give me a brief history of the band?

[Nick]:  Well basically what happened was in the spring of ’98, me (Nick) and Tony decided to start a technical death metal band. Scott, Tom and I were previously in a band together called,”Teratism”. I went to high school for two years with Tom and Tony. I have known Scott since I was like in diapers.

MR: What are your musical and lyrical influences?

[Nick]: Well, personally my musical influences are quite broad but just to name a few (Suffocation, Cryptopsy, Death, Morbid Angel, Slayer)

Lyrically, I will leave that up to Scott to answer.

[Scott]: Of course, it is hard to nail down influences at all, but favorite authors which may have been inspiration include H.P. Lovecraft, Edgar Allen Poe, Brian Lumley, Ralph Eliison, E. E. Cummings, William Butler Yeats, Thomas Hardy, Colridge, Byron, Wordsworth, Keats, Percy Shelly, Gerard Manly Hopkins, Allen Ginsberg, Aeschylus, Homer, Edgar Lee Masters, T.S. Elliot, Robert Frost, Walt Whitman, Sherwood Anderson, Clive Barker, Poppy Z. Brite, Shakespeare, Hemingway, Emily Dickinson, Sylvia Plath, Burgess, Virgil, Dante and scores of others.

MR: Describe two of your favorite songs and their composition…

[Nick]: Wow, great question…  As far as stuff from our first album, I like ‘Vermiform’ a lot because of the riffing in it. ‘Palingenesis’ is fun too, because I have solos in it, yay!

[Scott]: I like ‘Saprophytic Pig Rape’ because of its straight forwardness. It is a very different sound from most of our material, more relaxed and thick. I also like that one because the lyrics are the fucking shit, yo! Tony wasn’t going to let me use them, but I said, Look bitch, I use these kick ass lyrics or you get a rim job with a scalpel. He later consented to my demands. I also like ‘The Coalescence of Pulchritude’ because it is so raw (tee hee)! That was the first song we ever wrote and it will always be special to me. I like the blend of melody and grind, but it is my awesome vocal fuckup on the second verse that rules. It is almost as cool as when I sing off time on the first prechorus! Fuck Yeah!

MR: What do you think of the underground metal scene? How do you think it has changed during your involvement?

[Nick]: The Underground scene is growing where we are… Slowly but surely. As far as a whole, the underground really has changed a lot since the invention of the internet. I mean, now I can chat with people from all over the world. Its great having the fests every year because that way you can hook up with all of the people you talk to on the computer every day. I guess in that respect I am kind of a nerd, and unmetal, but you know who gives a fuck… I love have ways to outlet my appreciation for the music. As far as how I think the underground has changed since we have entered it… I don’t really think it has, we are just another band added to the minions. I think musically we are different. Lyrically I don’t know if there is another band out there that is on the same level of stupidity as us. I would like to think that we give the underground a breath of fresh air, but I guess its just a matter of attitude on part of listener, what their opinion is of our concept and whether they can find enjoyment in it.

[Scott]: Yup, I agree. Nick is a geek. That makes him all the more metal. GLARGH!

MR: What’s the scene like in MN nowadays?

[Nick]: As I have said, it is growing slowly but surely… I would like to see it get tighter and bigger, but time will tell on that.

[Scott]: I honestly have no concept of how the scene is doing. Here it is gay. All the shows take place at one piece of shit venue that sucks to play, the bands are all good and nice, but nothing exceptional (including ourselves). I am not really involved in the whole thing so maybe it is better than I think, but form what I see when we play shows it sucks ass. I can’t really comment on the national scene either, seeing as I only experience it at fests. I guess a touring band would have the best answer for that one, or you can just chart the sale of Marlboro Reds.

MR: What are your goals and aspirations for Pentagoria?

[Nick]: Goals for Penta… I would like Penta to do a full U.S and European tour at some point in our tenure. Maybe thats a little far fetched right now, but it is something I would like to do. It’d be nice to get Penta signed one of these days, but time will tell on that as well.

[Scott]: ‘…but time will tell on…’  Shut up Nick! Sorry. As far as I am concerned everything I have ever wanted out of Pentagoria (I refuse to call it Penta on the same ground that I refuse to call a tattoo a ‘Tat’) has come. I want to do at least one more album, and hopefully more, but right now I am focused on making this next release a real display of our intent and ability. I want it to be a more perfect representation as us of a band. I guess what I really want from Pentagoria is to be able to say to my kids, ‘See, bitch, your dad was badass too!’

MR: When can your next release be expected?

[Nick]: If all goes well we are looking for an early summer release..

[Scott]: Yup, if we get our asses in gear and finish up the material. We are hoping for a release before (Milwaukee) Metalfest, but we shall see.

MR: Any funny or horror show or studio stories?

[Nick]: TONS… For my personal autobiography entitled ” Why am I so Gay” write to Nick Kulczycki, P.O Box 69696969, Gayersville Minnesota

[Scott]: We have all sorts of gay stories from the studio. My favorite is this one: We had been up for, like, twenty hours and we  everyone was dead tired. We were still doing guitars, I think, and me and Tony and Tom were trying not to fall asleep on this couch that the guy had. It was the most uncomfortable piece of yarn in the fucking world, but it made us all want to pass out. So, we go down to the corner store, buy a big jug of 35 cent Fruit Punch and take turns seeing how long one could stand drinking the caustic mixture. Then Tom put sugar cubed in my Sprite and I got really angry and punched him in the dick.

MR: Is song or lyric writing collaborative, or do certain members do certain things?

[Nick]: Songwriting is definitely a group collaboration. When we write songs we want them be as intense as possible, and having four different members helps to impact that. Lyrically is all Scott though… unfortunately…

[Scott]: Yes! ALL MINE! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Here are some lyrics right now!

I write all the songs
Nick don’t get to write a one
While I’m writing all the songs

MR: You guys are pretty violent deathmetal! Where do you pull all this hate from?

[Nick]: Our ass?

[Scott]: I love everything I write about, there is no hate involved at all. Nick gets all his hate from supreme jealousy over my ability to peel a mango with my ass crack. Tom gets his hate from being a Nazi (that’s also where he gets all his stupidity, they are a package deal), Tony gets all his hate from bitches who won’t give him any play. How dey gonna front?

MR: What music styles and genres do you listen to, outside of the style you play with the band? Do these creep into the music at all as influences?

[Nick]: Well as far as music outside of metal goes, I like a lot of stuff jazz and classical wise. Classical wise (Satie, Chopin, Wagner, Mozart, and Beethoven) and Jazz wise (The Mahavishnu Orchestra, Al Di Meola, Allan Holdsworth). I am not too sure if any of these influences come into our music, its possible, but I guess thats up to the listener to decide.

[Scott]: My favorite musician in the world is Gordon Bok. I listen to folk about 98% of the time and not much metal. I like Scandinavian folk music, but mostly it is the Americanized versions of those songs that come out of Maine and other Eastern coastal towns that I enjoy. Bluegrass is fun to play, but irritating as hell to listen to. I like Counting Crows, Ed Tricket, Ann Mayo Muir. I think the simplicity and power of folk lyrics has a definite influence on my writing style. I like to contrast the complex music that Nick and the others write with relatively simple vocal patterns. I think this creates an efficient contrast.

MR: Where and how did you get your band name? Who came up with the  idea?

[Nick]: The name was something I thought up… The concept is something we all had to agree on, although it was more of a prophecy Captain frontman.

[Scott]: (a new Internet rumor is born! – ed.) Yeah, Nick came up with it and we all sort of agreed on a meaning that I started and we all snowballed into the grand theology that is Pentagoria. Basically, Pentagoria is a religious order that hails the five pillars of gore (Blood, Guts, Bone, Flesh, and Cum) as the almighty instruments and forbearers of worldly direction. These are the primal elements of nature, the great foundation of man kind, and the attributes through which one may gain ascension.

MR: Do you find it hard coming up with original material?

[Nick]: Not really…  We all know what we want musically from death metal, and we know what it takes to be original in crafting it.

[Scott]: Musically, not really, though I am less involved here than the others. Lyrically it is always hard to be original being that we live in an era where almost anything one can conceive of saying has already been said (in most cases about a thousand times!). But that is a dilemma I see for modern writing in general, and great appreciation to all those who accomplish it!

MR: Is anyone in Pentagoria involved in any other bands or projects?

[Nick]: I have helped out Anal Blast on a few occasions.

[Scott]:  Not me! Tony and Tom are also in Lorde of All Desires, and all three have helped out with Anal Blast. I have always just been in Pentagoria. Tony also toured briefly with Epoch of Unlight.

MR: What is the funniest thing you have seen lately?

[Nick]: Scott’s Dick.

[Scott]: My dick, it is funny no matter how many times you see it!  Actually, the funniest thing I have seen lately is Tom in his Calvin Klein briefs, seeming to deem it necessary to pose in a quite unladylike position while holding a conversation with me.

MR: If you could tour with with any 4 other bands, who would they be?

[Nick]: Impaled, Cephalic Carnage, Vile, and Hate Eternal.

[Scott]: I will agree with Nick on both Cephalic Carnage and Impaled, other than that I am at a loss. I would enjoy touring with anyone who could put up with me for that long (it is not so easy when you take into account the syphilis and uncontrollable need to evacuate myself in other people’s beds).

MR: What can fans look forward to seeing live?

[Nick]: More antics… More music… More Metal…

[Scott]: More of Nick yelling wicked awesome commentary to the audience. I always try to make every show entertaining, but telling what to look forward to would spoil the surprise. Be sure that you will almost always end up seeing my gut flapping around like a potato sack full of jelly by the end of the night, though!

MR: What do you feel Pentagoria brings to the scene?

[Nick]: A different and new approach to an old formula.

[Scott]: Homosexuality! A refreshing attitude towards anal rape and fellatio between male friends. We also bring Nick, and I bet you all are pissed off at us for that one! HAR HAR!

MR: What do you think of the Internet?

[Nick]: I think it’s an incredible resource. It can be very time consuming for addicts like me. I like being able to communicate through the internet.

[Scott]  It is a piece of shit. It is unparalleled for marketing and contacts and business and all that crap, but for communication and friendship it is absolutely fucking worthless. Mind you, I don’t mean E-mail, that is fine, but chatting is the most amazingly stupid thing ever conceived of. It is just a chance for insecure, socially anxious, identity crisis having bitches to form new identities every three seconds and pretend that they have any sort of worth whatsoever. I love all the pornography and filth and gore, but the whole damn thing is one big network of marketers. Not to mention that what would usually take me only a minute to say takes an hour to type because I am such a retard. Any sort of communication based on that informal a media is bullshit.

MR: What kind of musical direction can we expect from you guys in the future?

[Nick]: We are going to be as cutthroat musically as we can be, “We don’t have time for this Mickey Mouse Bullshit!”

[Scott]: Uh… NO! We are going to be relaxed and throat mending! I always have time to see Mickey Mouse get shit out of a bull! In fact, the name of our next album will be ‘Mickey Mouse Bull Shit’ so you better have time for it, fucker!!!

MR: What are you guys looking for in a label? What do you feel you could gain from a label?

[Nick]: Promotion… Distribution…  People who are willing to work with us…

[Scott]: Duh, someone who will pay us a lot! We down with cash-money. Its all about bein’ a playa, see?  Really, all we want is someone who is not willing to work with us, because that would be the shit. And uh, we also don’t want a label that will promote or distribute our record. I like Nick’s amazingly ambiguous answer, it is the dopest!

MR: Any parting words of wisdom to the masses?

[Nick]: Watch out for us, we are going to come at you Spastic Monkey Boner style… What you think you can survive the heaviness of being punched in the dick, I didnt think so… Gorczycki don’t play dat…

[Scott]: You know what rules? People who try to be funny just by taking a few lame phrases that are tossed around between friends and writing them all the time in the hopes that people who read an interview will think that they are really cool and weird and that they must hang out with the coolest people ever to come up with such CRAZY shit!! That’s the best. You know what’s also cool? Nick!  (keep on truckin’, home boy!)